Toni Weidman Homes for Sale -Florida Luxury

Is This For The Old People?


Is This For The Old People?

I have several homes for sale in over 55 communities and today I got this very interesting call from an agent.

PhoneShe asked if she could show one of them. It’s lockbox and vacant, I said, so go ahead and show it. Her next question was: Is it for the old people? I said, excuse me what did you ask me? She repeated it. I guess I was insulted because I told her that I was of that age group and I felt insulted by her question.

She got all flustered and apologized for asking it in that way but her customer was 25 so she guessed she wouldn’t be showing it. (She didn’t notice the 55+ notice in MLS?). No, I agreed, she wouldn’t be showing it and next time she should ask the question more diplomatically.

Sometimes, I have a mean streak.

And sometimes someone brings it out.

Or maybe I'm just a grumpy old person.

Grumpy smiley




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Comment balloon 48 commentsToni Weidman • April 28 2013 04:44AM


Toni: We get all kinds in this business!  Checking the MLS first would have saved her a bunch of embarrassment.

Posted by Anita Clark, Realtor - Homes for Sale in Warner Robins GA (ColdwellBanker SSK Realtors ~ 478.960.8055) almost 7 years ago

I am sure they will be upping the age soon.

Posted by Edward Gilmartin (CRE) almost 7 years ago

"The old people"?

Oh, you mean that group to which she'll eventually beling, IF SHE'S LUCKY??

My experience is that ageism is second only to sexism in our society today.

Oh well. 

Posted by Lenn Harley, Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland (Lenn Harley,, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate) almost 7 years ago

Hi Toni,

I have heard the term before. I did tell a Realtor a younger one, one time In Artesia New Mexico that she needed to watch the way she say's things.

To the wrong person it could mean a lawsuit. She seemed to shrug off my comment to her.

Have a good day in the New Port Richey areas.

Best, Clint McKie.

Posted by Clint Mckie, Desert Sun Home, Comm. Inspection 1-575-706-5586 (Desert Sun Home, commercial Inspections) almost 7 years ago

I will be 55 in one week maybe I will move there. This job sometimes make me feel 75 other times 25

Posted by Noah Seidenberg, Chicagoland and Suburbs (800) 858-7917 (Coldwell Banker) almost 7 years ago

Wow. I'm not just offended by the ageism, but also by the lack of professionalism. It would be horrible to say something like that in front of a client - shame on her.

Posted by Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl, The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate (Samsel & Associates) almost 7 years ago

Quite frankly, I think you were much kinder than I would have been Toni.

Posted by Roger D. Mucci, Lets shake things up at your home today! (Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092) almost 7 years ago

Anita - and it would have saved me a bunch of fuming. :)

Edward - why not 70 is the new 40?

Lenn - I agree! And she may not reach that group if she keeps it up.

Clint - it seems like she assumed that because I was an agent, I had to be not old. Experience counts as one of our best ActiveRainers always says.

Noah - that's true; sometimes I feel like a kid and sometimes I feel plumb wore out. Happy 55 next week.

Wayne & Jean - That's what I was thinking. Or perhaps say that to the sellers of a home?

Roger - it is unfortunate that we can't reach through the phone but maybe one day. 


Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago
Toni, it's not that tough to know which communities in our market areas are 55+, is it?
Posted by Carol Zingone, Global Realtor in Jax Beach, FL - ABR, CRS, CIPS (Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Florida Network Realty) almost 7 years ago

Good Morning Toni, it takes all kinds to make the world go! Ignorance..that's all I have to say. Obviously, she should not be interacting with public until she learns how to use her words.

Posted by Beth Atalay, Cam Realty of Clermont FL (Cam Realty and Property Management) almost 7 years ago

I'm sure she meant nothing by it, but it was good that you put her in her place so she doesn't do it again.  Sounds like somebody needs a few lessons in interaction with others.  

Posted by Amanda Christiansen, Christiansen Group Realty (Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843) almost 7 years ago

I have to smile, Toni.  I had a bit of that going on myself yesterday.  I was swimming at the health club, when I overheard a couple of kids about 10 years old or so, say they needed to swim over to the line where the "old lady" was.  Of course they were talking about me. . .I wanted to whup 'em up the side of the head:-)

Posted by Myrl Jeffcoat, Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent (GreatWest Realty) almost 7 years ago

I prefer to think of myself as "experienced" or "well seasoned" :-)

That person should learn to choose their words more wisely in the future!

Posted by Fred Hernden, CMI, Albuquerque area Master Inspector (Superior Home Inspections - Greater Albuquerque Area) almost 7 years ago

Toni, I can remember when if you were over thirty, you were considered old. Then they all turned thirty. Life goes on and you are only as old as you feel. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it.

Posted by Michael Setunsky, Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA almost 7 years ago

age has the advantage of being exposed longer to is called maturity and when you look good in it...thats called grace

Posted by Richie Alan Naggar, agent & author (people first...then business Ran Right Realty ) almost 7 years ago

Hi Toni - It's still jarring to hear myself referred to in that category - a colleague made a reference the other day that included the phrase "your generation" - it might have been a more polite way to say it, but the thought behind it was pretty much the same.

Posted by Dick Greenberg, Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate (New Paradigm Partners LLC) almost 7 years ago

You must have a very nice "young" voice that lulled the other agent into thinking she was talking to a much younger woman!

Posted by Mark Delgado, Benicia and Vallejo, Property Management, rental h (houses for rent, Solano County & Glen Cove) almost 7 years ago

Oh my, Toni.  She really didn't think that through did she?  She might want to pay attention to the shift in our society.  There are a whole lot of baby boomers who are selling homes and needing homes. 

Posted by Mike Cooper, GRI, Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro (Cornerstone Business Group Inc) almost 7 years ago

You're right, Carol. It's right there in MLS.

Beth - that might be a good idea for her.

Amanda and Jared - I'm sure she meant nothing by it but it was thoughtless.

I'll help you, Myrl. Us old ladies have to stick together :)

Fred - well seasoned - I like that.

Michael - I remember those days too :0)

Richie - Grace wasn't here to help me. :)

Dick - oh yes, that's another version alright.

Mark -  you are a sweetie.

Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago

Mike - yes, and it doesn't do to insult them before you get started.

Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago

We will continually educate the public as we receive more phone calls. Those are the rules

Posted by Harry F. D'Elia III, Investor , Mentor, GRI, Radio, CIPS, REOs, ABR (RentVest) almost 7 years ago

Toni- as one grump to another.. you're not're just right!  To those less than 55, which by the way is the new 35, I should only hope you live to be an  "old people.'

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) almost 7 years ago

HI Toni....that was 25 year old who is going on 12.... my grandchildren who are of a variety of ages would never refer to anyone in that manner.... that agent has a lot to learn....

Posted by Barbara Todaro, Marketing Agent for The Todaro Team (RE/MAX Executive Realty ) almost 7 years ago

Hi Toni - Roger Mucci's reblog brought me here today -- it's certainly an example of diplomacy(or the lack of) and how the words we choose have power.   

Posted by Michael Jacobs, Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393 almost 7 years ago

Hi Toni, words sure can be taken in the wrong context especially the way this person asked the question. Hey it's OK to have a mean streak from time to time...thanks :)

Posted by Bob Ratliff, "Sold with Bob" (Robert Ratliff Realty) almost 7 years ago


There are so many people that are 25 or under that are nearly dead...age has nothing to do with being alive, thriving and happy...A

Posted by Ron and Alexandra Seigel, Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy (Napa Consultants) almost 7 years ago

Toni, The agent showed how green she is.  There are a few terms for senior communities "old people" is not among them. The really odd thing for me is that I do not think 55 is old.  I don't even think 70 is old!  You are not grumpy or old ... you likely just have no patience for ignorance!

Posted by Kathleen Daniels, San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist (KD Realty - 408.972.1822) almost 7 years ago

Congratulations on the feature. If you're still feeling like you're in a mean mood, I guess you could contact her Broker and CC the Agent and vent a little more or you could send an email to the agent and let her know there's no hard feelings, after all you were a baby Realtor once too, so you understand how her communication style from her age group lacked common courtesy, or you could just let it go and be thankful you have a lot of AR supporters.

I think I would take the high road and just let it go. You may have to deal with her again and it never pays to burn bridges. You are forever young - I know it, you know it, and look how many AR supporters you have in your corner.

Posted by Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP, Selling Homes Changing Lives (DFW FINE PROPERTIES) almost 7 years ago

When someone has a brain fart and says something clumsy like that, I simply rephrase it when I confirm what they are asking.  "This is advertised as a retirement community and it has a 55+ age restriction for residents."

People are not going to learn unless we teach them.  Yes it is tedious.  It will always be tedious.  There will always be people new to the business who have things to learn.  We can help them, or we can beat them down and reinforce negative stereotypes that say being mean to our fellow agents is OK.

We can be leading our colleagues on a journey of self-discovery every time we interact with them.  

"I have several properties in 55+ communities. If you have Buyers looking for these kinds of houses, please refer them to me - I will pay a referral fee."

We train ourselves to look for SOLUTIONS - so what is the next step?  (THINKING) - How can I turn this into business for both of us?  "I invite you to look at this and my other properties for sale in 55+ communities.  I think you will be pleasantly surprised at what you find - so will your appropriate clients."



Posted by Richard Arnold, Realtor - Tempe, Chandler, Mesa, Gilbert, Phoenix (Keller Williams Realty East Valley) almost 7 years ago

How did you guess, Harry?

Kathy - both us us and we will get to Disney together to celebrate.

Barbara - I agree! Glad your little ones are not like that; somehow I knew they wouldn't be.

Michael - thank you for telling me that Roger reblogged it. Words do have power as our kids learn in school especially from bullies.

Oh, Bob, thank you so much for letting me know it's okay, I was actually feeling guility......NOT.

Alexandra - you are right.  It's all in the attitude. Which sets our tone for life.

Kathleen - I understand and agree with what you're saying.

Patricia - that's not in my nature to contact her broker or her. I will take the high road--I always do but felt I could vent here among friend.

Rich - I good clip upside the head is so much more satisfying. :0)

Thank you everyone for commenting.





Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago

I'd have been insulted too. What an insensitive thing to say.  Old is a state of mind - and that agent is tiresomely rude with her "old school" attitude about the vibrant 55 plus set. Glad you "let her have it," Toni!

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) almost 7 years ago

Nice to know that over 55 is considered "OLD". Geeze what would she think if it was an over 62 community. Yes, she should be more sensitive, but it is kind of funny.

Posted by Helen and Larry Prier- Re-Max Gateway - Residential Real Estate, Anacortes & surrounding Skagit & Island Counties (RE-MAX Gateway- Residential Real Estate Sales) almost 7 years ago
Good afternoon Toni, Why read when (maybe they can't) and someone will tell them what they missed. I also wonder how many other shirt cuts they take! Make yourself a great day.
Posted by Raymond E. Camp, Licensed Real Estate Salesperson Greater Rochester (Howard Hanna Real Estate Services) almost 7 years ago

It's all in the presentation and I would have been offended too.  You can ask anything but you need to have some etiquette in the question.

Posted by Liz Wallace, Broker C21 Sherlock Homes, Rockville Centre, LI, N (Century 21 Sherlock Homes) almost 7 years ago

Wow Toni, Larry and I do a very nice business in the 55+ communities, and no one has ever asked that question to us. Doesn't she know that at 55 life is just beginning!

Posted by Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400, Long Island Home and Condo Specialists (The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803) almost 7 years ago

Wow. Sometimes you just have to wonder "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!" Even though you already know they were not!

Posted by Joni Bailey, Your Huntsville / Lake Livingston Area REALTOR® (101 Main St. Realty) almost 7 years ago

Debb - thank you.

Helen and Larry - I know 90 years olds that I think of in their 30's. They ae so much fun and so vibrant.

Raymond - me too; it seemed more important to find out if it was lockbox/vacant that what type of neighborhood.

Liz - you're right, ask me anything but make it sound tactful.

Larry and Sheila - 55+ folks are involved in all kinds of activities and full of fun.

Joni - no, she obviously didn't think before she opened mouth.

Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago

Well you got a Feature out of it, that's something!  What a rude way to ask that question!

Posted by Sharon Tara, New Hampshire Home Stager (Sharon Tara Transformations) almost 7 years ago
Toni, Toni I don't usually get offended especially about something like that...hell, I AM old! However, that doesn't mean I would have let the comment slide...I would definitely have engaged that agent in "spirited" discussion.
Posted by Nick T Pappas, Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource (Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL) almost 7 years ago

Cute post, Toni.  It's funnier than it is grumpy.  I'm think that will be the last time she refers to mature individuals as "old".  But, it's not as pejorative as "blue heads".

Posted by Lloyd Binen, Silicon Valley Realtor since 1976; 408-373-4411 (Certified Realty Services) almost 7 years ago

Toni- I'm not buying in to you being a grumpy, old person. Perhaps people just need to be a litle more diplomatic.

Posted by Christine Donovan, Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M (Donovan Blatt Realty) almost 7 years ago

Toni, I bet I know what astrological sign she is or at least has that sign prominent in her stars so-to-speak, I am one of them.  Easy to put one's foot in the mouth, not thinking the question through.  My guess she did learn from her question, been there many times.  Hopefully she learned to look more carefully at the listing but these days I do not take much of anything personally and have learned to laugh a lot.  The comment would have taken me back a bit as well, and I too know people who are in their 90's and above who have more spirit and energy than people who are a lot younger. 

Posted by Mary Stewart, Wilsonville and Surrounding Portland Metro Areas (HomeTrust Real Estate, LLC, Homes for Everyone) almost 7 years ago

Sharon - who knew it would be featured :)

Nick - I probably wasn't as insulted as I indicated (literary license, you know) but I thought it was a bad way to put it and wanted her to know that.

Lloyd - since I don't know what a blue head is, i'll take your word for it ;). And, no, it was meant to be funny. Thanks.

Christine - thank you!!! Although I have been known to be a tad irritable once a year or so.

Mary - that's not something I believe of you. You are a lady and I know you are a diplomat.


Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago

"Old people" blogs are a good read and yours deserved a feature. Old would not be my first choice of words.

Posted by Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) almost 7 years ago

Toni - do you actually ever have a mean mood???  I like Alexandra's comment as well....There are so many people that are 25 or under that are nearly dead...age has nothing to do with being alive, thriving and happy..

I personally find you an inspiration, and that agent...has a lot to learn.

Posted by Cara Marcelle Mancuso, Call a Marana neighbor, I'm THERE! LONG REALTY (Long Realty - Dove Mountain, Marana AZ) almost 7 years ago

Margaret - me either and that's my point.

Cara - I have been known to have a few. I liked what Alexandra said too. So true. Thank you for your kind comments.

Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago

Hi Toni,

I would have to say "OUCH" to that comment!  I don't consider myself to be one of the "OLD PEOPLE" but to someone in their 20's I guess I may seem that way. 

Great post Toni... as always you keep us entertained.  Congratulations on the FEATURE too!

Posted by Linda D. Pufford, ASPM, Marin/Sonoma Home Stager (Stage with Divine Style - Home Staging) almost 7 years ago

Linda - glad to see you. Thanks for commenting.

Posted by Toni Weidman, 20+ Years Selling Homes in New Port Richey, FL (Sailwinds Realty) almost 7 years ago

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